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The Rabbi Daniel Lapin Podcast
Episode: Don’t Think. Just Do!
Date: 07/29/22 Length: 47:41
Daniel Lapin 0:00
Greetings, happy warriors. And welcome to the Rabbi Daniel Lapin show where I, your rabbi, reveal how the world ever really works. Thanks for being part of the show. And, as always, thank you for the work that so many of you do, helping to promote the show. Whether you send out URLs or tell people about it, or give people a link, whatever it is, whatever you're doing is working. And I just want you to know how much I appreciate that. And what we're going to talk about, well, a little bit about the new 2022 movie that came out, it's a remake of the movie of 30 years ago with something called Top Gun, starring Tom Cruise, who just, he just seems to look the same forever, you must be taking some special kind of hormone tablet. But he plays Maverick. And the only part of the movie that I want to talk about is a slogan that he repeats a few times during the movie, "Don't think. Just do." And of course, the point is that when you're flying a fighter aircraft, there isn't time to go through the thoughts. It's got to become instinct. The same thing is true if you're studying martial arts, if you are attacked, and you now have to stop to think that all right, we covered this last year, it was in chapter three of their handbook, attacks from the rear with a gun or with a knife. It's all over. Don't think just do. Now obviously, that's not a very helpful slogan for generally in life. Because many times the problems that we face are caused precisely because we acted without thinking first, right? So you got to be careful with slogans. But there are times without question. There are times where don't think just do I'll give you an example.
Daniel Lapin 2:12
You're, you're in a place where there are a bunch of new people, I don't know, if it's a social environment or business environment, you're feeling a little bit too out of it, you're feeling a little bit awkward, and you don't know too many people. And you're, you're sort of trying to figure out where to stand or what to do with your hands. And and at that point, "Don't think. Just do." you know, stop thinking about how people will react if you go up to them and introduce yourself, just do it. And so that would be a good example of one of the few occasions where Tom Cruise's or Mavericks slogan, "Don't think. Just do." does apply. Right. And it's important to bear in mind, because well, let me let me portray it this way. And, and and once again, I know we've got a number of women who are car enthusiasts, we have a number of women who maybe not confused, yes, but enjoy driving and who like cars or know what they like in cars. So I'm not going to worry about putting off any women. I think that's a stereotype now, but it's a question that might resonate with, with perhaps each and every one of you that drives a car. And that is that the foot brake when you put your foot down on the brake to bring the car to a standstill, that is a very powerful brake. And even if you're doing 40 or 50 miles an hour, there are some cars that have outstanding brakes, that will bring the car to a standstill in about 100 feet 125 feet, which is you think about it from that high speed. It's remarkable you, you know, you really are being pushed forward against your seatbelt, it's restraining you. That's how powerful the foot brake is. Now, some cars most cars also have a handbrake. Now sometimes it's been automated and it's just become a button. But you might remember where it used to be a lever between the two front seats sometimes. And you'd sort of reach down and pull it up and you'd hear it ratcheting right technically, and you'd sort of put it up as far as it'll go. And then when you return to your car, it's time to leave you sort of depress a button on the end of the the lever of the of the handbrake or the parking brake or whatever you call it. And then it will drop down. Now what you know, an experiment you could try is moving along at 40 or 50 miles an hour. Why don't you just try and stop the car pulling up a handbrake and you discover that it pretty much does nothing. It will be very hard to bring the car to a stand - why is that brake not as strong as the foot brake? Surely a brake is a brake. And the answer is that to stop something moving, takes a whole lot of force. But to stop something starting to move which is already stationary, which is you in the parking situation, that takes much less force. So you don't need a strong brake. Let me just repeat that. To stop anything that's moving takes work, it's hard to do to stop something moving, which is already stationary, that's a whole lot easier. See, so, so if, you know if there's a a locomotive coming down the track, and you take a rubber wedge, and you put it on the track in the hope of stopping the train, it's not going to do anything. But if the train is stationary, and you just want it to stop rolling, you know, so you stop the train, you might well put a wedge, a rubber wedge under the wheel, I've never heard of such things, but but if you did, it would probably stop the train from moving. So things which could stop the train from starting to move on not nearly adequate to stop the train that is already moving. And inversely, let's turn that principle of physics around, it is much harder to get something to start moving than it is to keep something moving in the first place.
Daniel Lapin 6:12
So if, if the car is already moving on down the road, you know, you can switch to second or third or fourth gear, because it's not taking a lot of work to keep it going. But to start it going, you got to start in first or second year, because changing the state of motion of anything, is a very difficult thing to do. Now, this is a law of physics, which also applies to human beings. In the same way, it's hard to stop something moving, but it's easy to stop it from starting to move. Or conversely, it's very hard to get something to start moving. But it's not that hard to keep it moving. Okay, so, too, if you are moving along in a bad habit, you got a bad tendency in your life, there's something you do, which you recognize is not good. Stopping it is really, really hard. But once you stopped it, to stop yourself from doing it, again, is much easier. So and conversely, if you've got to train yourself to start doing something, maybe it's like exercising every day, shall we say, very hard to start doing it. But if you manage to start doing it after a few weeks, you discover it's much easier to keep it going than it was to start it in the first place two weeks ago. These are many examples of the many ways in which laws of physics apply also to the world of spirits. spiritual, physical, yeah, if there's a law, that's true in the physical, it also applies in the spiritual. And it's very interesting to see it work that way. So why do I mention that because we're talking here about changing a habit, changing a style of living that you've absorbed, whatever it is, alright, you know, maybe it's an addiction of some kind, you know how hard it is to quit doing something that you are really, really, really into. And likewise, it's very hard to start doing something that you're not accustomed to doing. Now, it's got to be something hard. It's obviously easy to get yourself used to eating a chocolate ice cream. But it's a lot harder to get yourself to exercise every day. So these laws and these principles always apply.
Daniel Lapin 8:34
And if you are sort of shy, introverted sort of person, if you're the sort of person who doesn't easily put a big smile on your face and walk up to some stranger and put out your hand and say, hi, you know, I'm Tom Smith. If if you're not somebody who can do that easily, starting to do it is not easy. I concede that it's going to be hard, but a worthy challenge for a happy warrior. One of my favorite animal books I'm actually holding in my hands now and looking at it is called Journey to the Ants. And it's it's the subtitle a story of scientific exploration. It's by Bert Hölldobler. Yeah, Hölldobler, and Edward Wilson. And these guys are naturists, they are biologists. And this is a study of ants. And it's so valuable and so wonderful. And particularly for somebody who's interested in ants like me, partially because I'm interested in ants and partially because ants show up in the book of Proverbs quite often. And so, the book is one I really like I learned so much from this book. I even reread it every year or two. And one of the principles I learned about how the world really works. Hölldobler and Wilson talk about and and that is and here's what the way they put it If an animal is beautifully colored, and acts with relative indifference to your presence, it is probably poisonous or well armored. So if a beautiful and colored animal is not scared of you, it's probably poisonous or well-armored. An example of this principle is the South American poison arrow frog. If you touch its dazzling colored skin, you can get enough poison onto your finger to kill you. As a matter of fact, the local natives use the toxin from the South American poison arrow frog on the arrows, which is probably how it got its west name of the South American poison arrow frog. No wonder these pretty little frogs, they make almost no attempt to hop away when you approach them. They just sit there. And I when I read this, I thought, you know, I know people who lose fascination but who never take the initiative to connect, they just sit there.
Daniel Lapin 11:09
And furthermore, sometimes when you reach out to them, it sometimes yields toxic results. Not always, but it can. In general, I would say that people who fail to connect with other people have absorbed toxin. They have been infected with either arrogance. Like you're I'm much too important to associate with you, or fear. You know, you might spurn me. If I if I put up my hand and say, Hi, I'm Tom Jones, you might spurn me and make me feel embarrassed and humiliated. But those are the reasons mostly that that we tend to miss out on many, many important connections in life, because we don't take the initiative. It reminds me of a poem by William Gilbert. And there were two Englishmen in the 19th century Gilbert and Sullivan, and they wrote the most beautiful operettas. Gilbert wrote the libretto, the script, and Sullivan wrote the music and so there shows like The Mikado, and the Pirates of Penzance and HMS Pinafore, and and many, many other absolutely lovely operators, very, very English ones. Anyway, Gilbert wrote a poem called etiquette and I would like to read it for you. It goes like this. It's the etiquette by William Gilbert. Well, you know what, I'm not gonna do the whole thing because it'll take a long time. But why don't I just tell you, it starts off with a people on a ship and they're crossing an ocean and the ship wrecks and and everybody drowns except two people survive. And let's pick it up. Now.
Daniel Lapin 12:57
"These passengers by reason of their clinging to a mast upon a desert island where eventually cast. They're hunted for their meals. as Alexander Selkirk used but they couldn't chat together. They had not been introduced. For Peter Gray and Summers too the certainly in trade. Were properly particular about the friends they made. And somehow that's they settled it without a word of mouth. That Gray should take the northern half while Summers took the South. On Peters portion oysters grew a delicacy rare, but oysters were a delicacy Peter couldn't bear. On Summers' side was turtle on the shingle lying thick, which Summers could neat because it always made him sick. Gray gnashed his teeth with envy as he saw a mighty store of turtle and molested on his fellow creatures shore. The oysters at his feet aside, impatiently he shoved for turtle and his mother were the only things he loved and Summers sighed in sorrow as he settled in the south, for the thought of Peters oysters brought the water to his mouth. He longed to lay him down upon the Shelly bed, and suff he had often eaten oysters but had never had enough how they wished an introduction to each other they had had when on board the Bally Shannon, and it drove them nearly mad to think how very friendly with each other they might get if it wasn't for the arbitrary rule of ettiquete."
Daniel Lapin 14:34
Right, the British rule that you can't just start talking to strangers. Right, you have to be introduced. Well, that rule should be jettisoned with no ceremony whatsoever. And we should certainly be ready to take the initiative. Don't think just do it. Don't think just do don't worry about whether you're going to be spun earned or whether you're going to be rejected, just do it. And I'm not saying it'll never happen that you'll be spared, maybe it will. But it doesn't matter because all the wonderful opportunities you will meet new people and all the new friends you will make will more than make up for that. And so, ancient Jewish wisdom makes a huge deal of this, I have to tell you, that God wants us all to initiate connection with other people. We are supposed to be the first to greet others, it doesn't matter if there's a risk of rejection. We have the ability to convert strangers into friends, by simply introducing ourselves rather than waiting for someone else to perform introductions. In this area of life in the social area, as in any other, God wants his children to drive their lives, rather than to be driven. He prefers us to be proactive, rather than reactive. He wants us to be active,
Daniel Lapin 16:02
not passive. And this is exactly how we're supposed to teach our children to behave, not to sit back, but to be proactive, seize control of your life, get behind the wheel. It's really difficult because there is a tendency in all of us to, to be a bit passive sort of sit and wait to see how things turn out, right? Well, getting out of that habit will do you a world of good socially, romantically financially in every possible way. I can't stress it enough. Some of you might be interested in in one of the places where we see this, and it's kind of interesting. There are their four verses, and maybe if you're interested, you want to just make a note of them. And then I hope by now you've acquired one of my recommended Bibles, you'll find it on the website at RabbiDanielLapin.com. There's a very special Bible that I recommend is the Hebrew Bible. And it's Hebrew and English, which is fascinating, because I know you don't read Hebrew fluently, or maybe not at all. But that doesn't matter. It's still worthwhile, particularly when I teach from both sides. And secondly, it uses the correct names. There are all kinds of wonderful things about that Bible, at any rate, and make a note of Genesis chapter 45, verse 17. And here's what it says. And Pharaoh said to Joseph, tell your brothers to return home and take wagons from Egypt, and bring your father. All right, that's in brief. What's happening is Joseph, a pharaoh knows that Joseph's brothers have arrived. And now Joseph wants to have his elderly father come and live out the remaining years in Egypt with his son. And so very, very helpful says to Joseph, he says, Hey, listen, tell your brothers to go fetch your father. And why didn't you take wagons from here? Your dad shouldn't have to walk? Right? I mean, Egypt was the United States in the 20th century of those days. Right? Today. Egypt is now China. So, so it's no problem for Pharaoh say to Joseph, hey, you know, don't have your dad walk. Tell your brothers to go they should take wagons and bring your dad that's chapter of Genesis 45, verse 17. Now we go to Genesis chapter 45 cent chapter, verse 25. And Joseph's brothers arrived at Jacob their father. And when he saw the wagons that Joseph had sent to carry him to Egypt, his spirit revived. He was so happy. You know that his son Joseph was in a position to send him wagons. That's like today, somebody sending you a first class air tickets. It's a big deal. And so chapter 45, verse 25, old father, Jacob is as happy as could be, that he sees the wagons in his son Joseph was actually able to send wagons to fetch him to Egypt. Wow. And he is so happy. Now we moved to chapter 46, verse one. And remember, Jacob is now living around the Hebron area. So it says and chapter 46, verse one, right? And Jacob embarked on his journey with all that he had, and he came to bear Sheva. So he traveled south right? To go from Hebron to Egypt. You got to head south. His first stop is Bathsheba. And I'll read it to you again. And Jacob embarked on his journey with all that he had. And he arrived in Bathsheba, chapter 46 verse one, but it doesn't mention the wagons does it. So you think, Well, okay, maybe it's just you know, it's obvious. But wait a sec, chapter 46 Verse five, he picks up the rest of his journey. And now chapter 46 Verse five, and Jacob departed Bathsheba, and the sons of Israel transported Jacob their father in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent.
Daniel Lapin 20:24
Do you see what's happened? What's it's very clear if you read the sequence of these verses carefully, father Jacob leaves Hebron, and heads to bear Sheva, not a long journey, not a long journey at all. I don't know. I'm gonna guess 3040 miles, not a long journey. And he does that on foot. He's not using the wagons. Now when Jacob leaves Bersheva, in chapter 46 Verse five. Now he travels in the wagons which Pharaoh had sent. So you can see that the first part of his journey from Hebron down south to Bathsheba, he did on foot. From Bathsheba onwards to Egypt, he traveled on one of the wagons that Pharaoh had sent. Why? This is beautiful. This is such a good lesson. Jacob wanted to launch this exciting new phase of his life with a proactive and a willful action, namely walking, rather than just being a passive passenger on a wagon. That's how important proactive is that how important it is to be active, not passive. Old man already is more than 100 years old. And yet he wants to do the first part of his journey as an act of active wilderness. willfulness, I should maybe say, great. And, in doing this, you got to remember that Jacob is acting consistently with how he lived his entire life. He acted willfully and seize the initiative always rather than waiting developments. Let me just run through with you just a couple of examples of incidents in Jacob's life. Earlier in chapter 27, or Genesis, when it looked as if Jacob was going to deliver the important Abrahamic blessing to older son, Esau. G Jacob, listen to his mom's advice, disguised himself as his older brother, and he commandeered the blessing. Right? He could have waited to see if his father would have another blessing for him. But he didn't step forward. Don't think, just do. Not always. But in times where action is needed. Don't analyze you know what to do. Just do it. There was a two chapters later on his journey as a single man still, Jacob arrives at a well, and it was blocked by a stone. The shepherds gathered around there. were awaiting developments. They were just you know what they wanted, they wanted enough people to arrive. And when they were all there, then they'd go ahead and water their flocks. Jacob walked up to the well simply rolled the large boulder that covered the well away, and he proceeded to water the flocks to make it available. Jeff, that was chapter 29. A little while later, his beautiful cousin Rachel arrives. What did Jacob do? Just think about a weak man in at a party or at a bar, and he sees a beautiful woman. What do so many guys do? They sort of covertly Ogle her while they await developments. Yeah, they wait. This will add a quarter their eyes, they take a look at it. Or they adjust their chair at the boss or they can look at it out of the corner of their eyes. And meanwhile, they just looking at it. Nothing's happening. That's what many many guys do. Jacob, he didn't do that. Did he surreptitiously appoint a wing man to approach on his behalf. No, he didn't do that either. Jacob seize the initiative. He planted a big wet kiss on her lips. That's Chapter Genesis, Genesis chapter 29 Verse 11. Now I'll be the first to admit that this is surprising behavior for someone we tend to think of as a quiet, saintly sort of chap. And of course there is deep meaning to the Hebrew text. But the straightforward meaning of the text still stands. Being saintly does not mean reacting to life. It means seizing life with both hands and acting, don't think just do.
Daniel Lapin 25:07
And this is one of the reasons that in the book of Proverbs chapter six, verse six, Solomon advises all of us with slight tendencies to laziness to learn from the end. And as Bert Hölldobler and Edward Wilson abundantly demonstrate in their magnificent and book which sits right here in front of me on my shelf, and never sit around waiting for developments, and neither should you. Whether it concerns a personal relationship that needs initiating, although, by the way, I'd recommend caution with that impulsive kiss idea, okay, maybe that's not for everybody, or whether it's a business action that awaits, please try and you know, remember the footbrake handbrake try and get moving, try and overcome your inertia and adopt a new pattern of living, which is be proactive, seize the initiative, I take charge of your life. That's that's really, what's, what's important, what's worth doing. So there are lots of there lots of really important applications of this message, really important applications. And I'm going to give you perhaps just two important ones.
Daniel Lapin 26:38
But first of all, I want to recommend that you head over to RabbiDanielLapin.com. And there, you will find a an online program called Scrolling through Scripture. Look, let me make clear, this is not a religious tract, okay, in the bad sense of the word. This is not a program teaching you the Bible is not a program teaching you how to become a saint. No, it's a book that lets you into the secrets of the Bible, in order to understand how the world really works. And so I gave you a little bit of an example of that here today in this program, by showing you that three simple verses, in two consecutive chapters, dealing with Jacob's journey to meet his son, Joseph, who's become one of the heads of the country of Egypt. It's not just a narrative, you got to ask yourself, Wait a sec, there were wagons there. And he does the major part of the journey in the wagon. So why does he do the first part of the journey on foot? What's that all about? Because traveling on a plane, or being on a wagon,
Daniel Lapin 28:05
that's a passive way of living. Now, you can't help it for most of the traveling we have to do today. You can't help it. But driving your car that's active. It's one of the reasons I think men enjoy driving cars so much. I think women do as well, but not nearly to the same extent. And I think that's probably why it is that in the overwhelming majority of instances where I see a couple sitting in the front seat of a car, it's overwhelmingly the guy behind the wheel and the woman in the passenger seat, guys later, it's active, it's a very active thing. And it is a masculine thing to be active, even at the intimate moment of their mess, their their most masculine and feminine. A man and a woman are actually in those roles, active and passive. Right, the man is more active than the woman is. And the man is projecting out a seed, the woman is receiving it, projecting out is active receiving is passive. And so being active is very much a masculine thing. Being passive is more of a feminine thing. And so it is important, even for women in a business context, to learn to be a little bit masculine, I hope you won't let it intrude into personal and romantic and social parts of your life. But on the financial part of your life, you may well have to be a little bit masculine in exactly the same way that if I go to a lecture, you know whether it's a Bible lecture, or maybe I'm sitting and talking to somebody, a business person who knows much more than I do. As a matter of fact, you know what, I actually had a zoom conversation just this past week with a businessman who knows far more than I do about business. As a matter of fact, I spoke to him about becoming a guest on this podcast down the road, and I look forward to having him and bringing him to you. But in I realized in our conversation, we spoke for an hour, I would say I listened to him for about 45 minutes and he spoke for for 45 minutes, I spoke for about 15 Not because he was talkative because I kept on asking him questions. And I had one question after another. And I was taking notes I was I was really listening very carefully. And during that conversation, I am in the feminine role, you get it, he is putting out ideas, I'm receiving them. And so it's perfectly okay for a biological man at times to be feminine. And it's perfectly okay for a biological woman at times to be masculine in this particular area. Active Passive project receive, right if somebody is is giving me directions, I'm being feminine to his masculine or her masculine might be a woman giving me directions, well, she's being the masculine, I'm being the feminine, that's perfectly okay. Right? It's, it's just understanding the fundamental nature of male and female. And so, during this conversation, one of the many questions I asked him that resulted him speaking more than I did, I said to him, and you know, we spoke about the various companies he'd worked out. And I said, So what characteristic of yours? What is the one single most important part of you, that resulted in you rising rapidly through the ranks in one company after another? And he said, that's a very interesting question. And he thought for a moment, and then he said to me, he said, Yeah, I think it's because I'm very, very curious. I have insatiable curiosity about things. And to that, I said, look, and I addressed him by name, I said, I don't really accept that. It is very hard to get a well paying job where you are paid to be curious. I'm not saying such things don't exist. But I'll tell you that in the companies you worked for, they didn't hire you, promote you and pay you. Because you were inquisitive and curious, they paid you because you have the ability to do something. And that's what I'm curious about. And he fought some more for a while. And then he told me, he found that interesting. And he said, Yes, well, I know what it is, I know what I'm good at doing and that I do better than most other people. And then he told me what it was. And I will tell you also when when we actually meet him an interview. And but the point is that you are capable of producing money. When you act, not when you think, now, maybe you got to do a lot of thinking beforehand, maybe you've got to think a lot to learn enough says you're in a position to act, you know, you can't walk into a new job, where you are expected to apply fundamental management principles or accounting principles, and you've never studied them. So you've got to do a whole lot of thinking before you're ready to act. But assuming you've got all that in your pocket, and you now arrive in a company, your achievements are, how you act, the things you do, not the things you think about. Right, you should do your thinking. But your acting should be the result of good thinking. What you paid for is not the thinking you paid for the acting. And so it is as an entrepreneur, if you're starting your own business, you can do all the business plan writing you like and and I've helped people with business plans for for many, many years. But there comes a time where you got to stop drawing charts, you got to stop doing spreadsheets and tables, you got to stop doing projections, and you actually have to do something. So it's, it's really, really important.
Daniel Lapin 34:22
And that's why I direct you to you know what you can even listen to one of the first right there's 20 lessons in the Scrolling through Scripture. Unit One takes us through the first 34 verses of Genesis, verse by verse. And you definitely want to give it a shot. There's even you can even on the website you can even watch the first one for free I believe I hope that's still up as an offer but you should be able to add at www.RabbiDaniellapin.com. So give give that a shot. And I think you will click we discover that I study Bible, not because I want to know about people and events of 3000 or 4000 years ago. Now, it's because I want to know what to do at my business meeting tomorrow. It's because I want to know how to respond best to my child who asked me to do something for them. It's because I want to know what sort of decision my wife and I should make with respect to a challenge we face. Those are the reasons that I study Scrolling through Scripture. So go to RabbiDanielLapin.com. And you will discover that through that process of Scrolling through Scripture with me, you will acquire not only facts, but far, far more importantly, you will acquire wisdom. Wisdom means knowing how the world really works. And that's ever so much harder than facts. And one of the things that is very true for the person I was talking to, and it's true for you, too. And that is that what we're talking about that you got to learn to be active, not reactive, you got to learn to be active, not passive, you got to take the initiative and take control of your life. All of that is absolutely true. And all of that, when coupled with knowing how the world really works, that makes you invaluable. And I've had people working in my enterprises like that. I've had somebody who was absolutely infallible, when an idea came up, he would say that will work or that won't work. And he was never wrong. He had a brilliantly tuned antenna, he understood how that part of the world really worked. And so he could really tell whether a sequence of events, a sequence of actions would bring about the desired end, or whether that sequence of actions will run it off the rails. So knowing how the world really works, coupled with learning that you must do not more than think that means you can virtually write your own ticket, you know. So make sure you take a look at scrolling through scripture, I said I'd give you as an example of two of doing rather than thinking.
Daniel Lapin 37:34
One for men, one for women, okay? One is for single men, the other is for married women. All right, I know there's lots of other people in the world. But I can't easily come up with things that are always true for everybody, and every time in every circumstance. And I mean, pretty much the things we've been talking about today are everybody should take initiative and take control of their lives. Everybody should learn how the world really works. That's true. But think about how marriages come about in much of the world today, guys date, and then they develop a relationship with a girl, but they don't take it any further. Because they they don't want to get married. And so they just keep going. And they don't realize that relationships are organic, they're like flowers or vegetables. And that is they keep getting better and better and better till a certain point. And then if you don't do something, they start deteriorating. You know, maybe that's the time to pick the rows. Or maybe that's the time to pick the corn and, and grill it and enjoy it with some butter and some salt. But if you leave it on the stock much longer, it's going to start deteriorating dating relationships just like that. And you know, terrific. She's the best thing that's ever happened to you, your friends tell you how happy you seem. And you can't wait. I mean, you're infatuated. You just can't wait to be with her all the time. And, you know, and your mother probably says to you, heck so come on, you know, do you want to join a US grandma's old ring and get engaged now? I'm not ready yet. I'm not ready yet. And you know what happens? You pass the expiration point of the relationship and it starts getting maybe she starts getting uneasy that you haven't mentioned marriage, whatever it is, it starts becoming apparent when that it's not working. You fail to pick the corn at the right moment. And now the corn starts going bad on the stock. And you know how you console yourself? Ah, you see, I was right. I was right now to pick this corn and start a good one. That's what guys say all the time to see our relationships gone downhill just as well. I didn't get married to it because now we'd be looking at a divorce. No, you moron. It's not how it works. Your your relations You could have continued building is what would have happened if you certainly if you would have acted like a man. So that is really how that is how marriages happen now. So what happens in the now starts dating somebody else at exactly the same thing plays out. And then he married something, he meets somebody else. And the same thing plays out. Eventually, one day, he looks in the mirror, and he notices that he's losing a little hair on the top of his head. And then he looks at his abdomen, and he says, Where's my sick per six, bad gone, I'm getting a little of a punch. And he says, You know what, the ride might just be over time to settle down. And so he decides that, you know, the next girl that he falls in love with? Well, he's gonna move ahead. Trouble is the next girl he falls in love with has been doing exactly what he's been doing. He's also been serially dating. And she's been turning down every opportunity for marriage, because she's a party girl, she's having a good time. And then all of a sudden, one day, she starts noticing some lines on her face. And then she notices some lines on her hand back of her hand. And she says, Oops, I think the ride is over time to find me a husband. So a man and a woman who both decided that the best part of life is over. Now settle for what they've got, and settle down with one another. And deep down, both know that they left behind better choices on the table. That's very sad. And so my advice then to, to younger single men is don't waste these wonderful years of your life with serial relationships that just leaves everybody miserable and embittered. Marry early, marry the right person. But above all, marry with the right outlook, and with a shared vision of marriage.
Daniel Lapin 42:22
Give yourself an extra 10 wonderful years of marriage. Have your children when you're younger. There's every reason for why on earth do people do the stupid, silly system of getting married, where they do everything possible to avoiding avoid getting married, missing out on wonderful potential opportunities, until they finally realize that they don't have that much to offer anymore, is what he says. And then she looks at herself in that you know what, I'm not 21 anymore. I'm not even 25 anymore. And the both of them settle for one another, knowing deep down, that it could have been better. That's how it works these days. That's how marriage works. If that's what you did, well, you know, you obviously can make the best of it. And you can can But even you you should be able to see. And I'm not saying you have to go through life with terrible remorse and unlivable regrets. But you know, you can see that there would have been a better way of doing it. Could have got married younger, to somebody who wasn't, shall I say worn out? So there is one example of don't think do it. I'll give you one more. And married ladies. This one is for you. This one would appear to be simple, but it isn't. It is here it is. Are you ready? It's two words. Dum-da-dum-dum-dum! are you ready? Be happy. You cannot imagine how wonderful it is for your husband. To be with a married with a happy wife. If your husband walks into room and finds you singing to yourself, he gets a huge thrill of enjoyment. If he walks into the kitchen, and you're preparing supper, dancing from the stove, to the sink, and backwards and back again, just out of sheer exuberance. It's a site that will literally fill him with joy for days and days. married ladies, please do not underestimate how much joy your happiness brings us guys. The trouble is that a lot of the time, you don't show it partially. Well, you're not I'm not going to give the reasons you can figure out your own reasons I Let you're smart enough to know why you're not showing the happiness that you should. And I don't have to tell you that it's not a case of showing how you feel. It's a case of regulating how you feel by showing how you want to feel. Got it. Think about that, you know, maybe play the sport again. But the idea is act happy. Not only will you become happier, but you will be astounded at the impact it has on your husband. There is no time to explain the background to it right now. But suffice it to say, you cannot comprehend how happy it makes a man to bring you happiness. It's one of the reasons that again, during moments of maximum masculinity and femininity during intimate moments, you probably realize that one of the most important things to your husband is did you achieve ecstasy and joy as well. And that makes all the difference to him. You cannot imagine how wonderful it is for a husband to make his wife happy. And so for you to just spontaneously show signs of happiness at all times, particularly when your husband is around. You will not be able to imagine the impact this has on your marriage. Don't think about all your problems. Don't think about the annoying things he did. Don't think about all the reasons why you shouldn't be happy. Just do it. Tom Cruise would like it. He couldn't have even said it better than I just did. He looks better saying it. But you get the point, right. And I stress it strenuously and vigorously. And I really hope, persuasively and compellingly.
Daniel Lapin 47:14
And so until our next opportunity together, God willing next week, I bring this podcast to an end by wishing you a wonderful week of progress in your family and in your finances, in your friendships, and in your faith. And in your physical fitness. I'm Rabbi Daniel Lapin. God bless
Transcribed by https://otter.ai
